Talk Too Much
by artificialheart
Summary: Sam is always welcome for dinner at Sebastian's house. His insect 'facts', not so much. A fluffy Sam/Sebastian oneshot, written for a friend's birthday.


**AN:** Written for a friend's birthday. Not part of my usual Sam/Sebastian series, but it follows the same canon. :)

* * *

Sam liked having dinner with Sebastian's family. He liked having dinner with his own family, too, but it was always way more enjoyable at Sebastian's house. Maybe it was because Robin didn't scold him for taking more than three helpings of food; Sam was always getting in trouble for that. Some bullshit about needing to save some for 'leftovers'.

"Would you like more steak, Sam?" Robin asks, as she gets up from the kitchen table. "I'd be happy to grill another one for you."

"He's already had two," Demetrius mutters. "I think that's enough."

"He's a growing boy, he needs to eat," Robin argues. "I'm not letting my children go hungry."

That was nice, too; Robin treating Sam like he's part of the family, even though he and Sebastian aren't actually married. He's going to marry Sebastian one day – he's been hiding a mermaid pendant in his sock drawer for months – but it's nice to know that Robin already thought of him as her son-in-law.

"He's twenty-three; he's done growing by now," Demetrius replies a little too loudly, pulling Sam out of his thoughts. Lowering his voice, Demetrius adds, "He's not even our son."

Robin frowns. "He's our son-in-law; he's family."

Sebastian slips half of his own steak onto Sam's plate when his mom isn't looking. Sam gives him a stern look, because he's pretty sure that half a steak and one potato is not enough food for one meal - especially when this is the only proper meal Sebastian's had today.

"I'm not that hungry," Sebastian mutters, "don't give me that look."

Sam accepts the steak, only because Robin seems to have forgotten that she's offered him more, and he doesn't want to look greedy by bringing it up again.

"I'm not saying I don't accept him," Demetrius says, and Sam wonders how much of their conversation he's missed, "I'm just not going to refer to his boyfriend as my son-in-law when they're not even-"

"Can we not argue at the dinner table, please?" Robin sits back down, and offers Sam an apologetic smile. Turning to her husband again, Robin asks, "Why don't you tell us what you've been working on today?"

Demetrius' look of annoyance disappears at the change of subject; he never turns down an opportunity to talk about his work. Sam can relate to that; he could go on for hours about music, or aliens, or Solarian Chronicles, if someone asked him to.

"I've been studying some lady bugs. Did you know they can excrete some of their blood as a defense? That's the yellow substance they leave behind on your hand when you pick them up."

Maybe Sam likes eating with Sebastian's family because their dinner table conversations are so much more interesting; he always learns so much at Sebastian's house. It makes him feel a little dumb in comparison, sometimes, but he always tries to contribute some of his own knowledge to the conversation when he can.

"Oh, did you know that lady bugs change colour based on how they're feeling?" Sam asks. "Most of the ones I've seen are red, so I guess they're usually mad."

Maru grins. "That's fascinating, Sam," she replies. "I never knew that."

"They also get a new spot every year," Sam continues. "That's how you know how old they are."

Demetrius sets his steak knife down, and sighs. Sam's not sure what his problem is; Demetrius talks about bugs at the dinner table all the time. If it's rude to talk about bugs while eating then Demetrius shouldn't have brought it up.

Sam glances at Sebastian, who gives him an encouraging nod. He even reaches over to squeeze Sam's hand, which makes his heart swell. That seems to make Robin happy, too, because she's beaming at the two boys when Sam looks up.

"What were you telling me about earwigs the other day?" Maru asks. She's also smiling at him; Sam's so lucky to have such a supportive family-in-law in addition to his regular family.

"They like the colour pink, 'cause it reminds them of ears," Sam says. "I used to be afraid that they'd crawl into my ears while I was sleeping, but Sebastian told me that if I wear my headphones to bed they won't be able to get inside." He pauses to chew a piece of steak. "I can't remember what they do with earwax, though. You know, after they harvest it."

Maru excuses herself from the table, and leaves the kitchen for a few minutes. Sam thinks he hears laughter coming from the bathroom, but maybe he's just imagining things. Demetrius definitely isn't laughing, so maybe Sam should change the subject.

"I've been working on a new song," he announces, and Robin's face lights up.

"Have you talked to Lewis about performing at one of the town festivals?" she asks. "I think that'd be a wonderful idea."

Sam considers this. "That'd be pretty rad, yeah," he agrees, grinning. "We might have to change some of the lyrics, though, they're kind of... inappropriate." That's putting it lightly.

"Oh, well maybe you could write a new song?" Robin suggests. "What do you like to write about? Sebby never tells me."

Sebastian never tells his mom what Sam writes about, because seventy percent of Sam's songs are about Sebastian. Or sex. Or sex with Sebastian. (There's a reason they've never performed them outside Sam's bedroom.) Sam's not going to tell Sebastian's mom that, though, so he quickly makes up an answer.

"Aliens," he replies, with a very serious look. "Did you know one time I saw a UFO? I can tell you about it, if you want."

Demetrius sighs, and pushes his chair back from the table. "I'm finished," he decides. "I need to get back to my studies."

"Demetrius, we have a _guest_ ," Robin hisses. "Let him tell his story."

He doesn't look pleased about it, but Demetrius scoots his chair forward again, and folds his arms over his chest. "I suppose I can put it off for a few more minutes," he says, his tone matching the reluctant expression on his face.

Maru, on the other hand, leans closer, propping her elbows on the table. "Tell me all about the UFO, Sam; I want to hear everything."

Sam's more than happy to launch into his story, and Maru nods along, asking him questions, glancing at her dad every few sentences with a tiny smirk on her face. Even Sebastian, who's heard the story so often that he can recite it word for word, seems to be enjoying it. He takes Sam's hand again, lacing their fingers together, and Sam stops his retelling to press a quick kiss to Sebastian's cheek.

When Sam pulls away he can almost see Robin doing calculations in her head, and Sam's pretty sure she's trying to figure out how she can remodel the tiny kitchen to fit both their families for the next holiday. Having Sebastian over to his house for dinner is great, and having dinner with Sebastian's family is even better, so Sam can only imagine how awesome it's going to be having dinner as one giant family.

He's going to need to ask Sebastian for more bug facts, so that he can really impress Demetrius next time.


End file.
